I'm engaged! My lovely fiancé (that's so weird) asked me to marry him in Beacon Hill park, in the rain, with ducks for an audience. It was lovely and I'm still on Cloud 9. I can't imagine a better life partner. He's intelligent, reasonable, fair, caring, devoted and thoughtful. He's the kind of person animals like. He's just goodness personified (without being nauseating, you know the type). Solidly kind. I'm looking forward to being his wife, and us supporting each other through launching and progressing careers and whatever else life throws at us.
So, getting engaged, unfortunately means there's a wedding on the horizon (I prefer thinking about the marriage part, which is probably good considering the divorce rate). I've always thought it was madness to spend the equivalent of a car on a highly stressful day, after months of careful planning, that will never possibly match up with what you had envisioned (Pinterest is a bitch). I'm not even a huge wedding fan as a guest (I always over-identify and feel nervous for everyone) but doing it myself sounds like a disaster.
Getting up early to get ready in the morning, having a full day jam packed with stressful events including public speaking, getting photos taken of you (that you're paying thousands of dollars for), worrying about everyone being hungry and entertained, eating a big fancy dinner in a restrictive dress, sitting through speeches (the horror!) and generally being the center of attention for an ENTIRE day, capped off with getting wasted and dancing into the wee hours of the morning, before you fall into your hotel bed, drooling, sweaty and disheveled, $20,000 poorer? - in two words - hell no.
So where does that leave us? Two shy people who are very much in love. One doesn't like fancy buffets or drinking, the other doesn't like dancing (like, I still haven't seen him dance and it's been two + years. That kind of "I don't dance"). Neither has the stomach for speeches. Both want to have an occasion to dress up nicely, somewhere pretty, and say some nice things to each other. What do they do?
We're planning on having a tiny wedding with just our parents. Hooray! Thankfully our families are very supportive of our decision to do what we like, while saving a bunch of money (down-payment, I'm looking at you!). We have compromised by having a mini-reception/after party in the summer in my mum's backyard. I feel it's the best of both worlds. We still get to include family - just not on a marathon day of stress and high hopes. It won't be too formal or nerve wracking. Just a big coming together of two families to eat gourmet sandwiches and cake by a pretty willow tree, wearing semi-fancy clothes, with dogs and kids running around, and some nice decorations. That sounds pretty nice to me.